… of me has been a variation of, “How are you holding up?” My standard reply has been, “For the most part… I’m holding up OK… Thank You for asking.”
I’ll admit over the last 2 weeks I’ve felt a little “tweaky” first thing in the morning. When Mum was in hospital last week it was brought on because my first thought had been… “Let Janya. (the dog who sleeps in the laundry room) out and get Mum breakfast.” Then realizing that she was in hospital and feeling the first pangs of the tweak. It’s not unlike the feeling I get when I’ve had one cup of coffee too many.
This week the tweak arrives the instant I awake… which has been right at 6 AM. I make sure to shake the morning groggy’s out… let the dog out and chjeck on Mum. I wish her good morning, sit with her for a bit and tell her the chores I’m about to do. Before I leave her side I always make sure to tell her that I love her. I always reassure her that I will be close. After the chores are done… feeding the dogs, watering the vegebeds the feeling subsides. Only then is coffee brewed.
For the last couple of days I’ve had the company of Kim to rotate sitting shifts in the daytime with Mum. This frees me up to attend other duties. Yesterday, there was one detail that I have been avoiding all week that I finally got to… getting price quotes for cremation. Now it’s done and if I should shut down when the inevitable arrives at least everything is in place.
So, that’s how I’m doing.
MUM UPDATE JUNE 20
Mum’s breathing and pulse patterns began it’s erratic stage. According to the material provided by the hospice this adds yet another sign to the “days/hours” indicator to her leaving this world.
There was a surge of visitors yesterday evening including Brandy, KP, Tony Aileen, Kate, Shookie, Nicki, Karen and Mike. The entire evening there were shifts with at least 2 people keeping Mum company at all times while the rest hung out the front of the house. Even the neighbors next door came out to join us. Many brought wine, beer and pizza to help while away the evening outside.
This allowed me to slip away to the back at about 10 PM to catch a nap. I awoke at 11:30 to check on Mum and found that Brandy, Mike and Karen still keeping Mum company. I was told to get back to sleep as Karen (who is a nurse) and Mike would stay up to sit with Mum.
It is now 5:30 AM. I woke at 4 and checked on Mum. Karen and Mike have been switching nap periods to sit with Mum. I’ll go make coffee now sit with Mum and they can catch some winks. Mum is resting easy.
The company (I have been blessed to have) does help… a lot. As many of you know Mum has always loved company. I know even though she has reached this non-communicative stage the buzz of people around her is adding to her comfort.