The Manglish flew fast and thick all weekend. Colloquialisms I hadn’t used in ages, turns of phrases, jumbled up with substitutions from Malay, Chinese, Tamil… and a few Kristang words were firing off in a frenzy the moment I stepped into my cousin’s hotel room. There was no transitional period of adjustment… just a straight on dive into a place of origin. It’s a good thing that I’ve always had a good ear for language and can code switch at the drop of a hat or I would have been lost… a case of instant recall that felt like home.
My cousin, Annie and her family were on a grand tour of the US and I took the opportunity to meet up with them up in the city. The story goes, when I was a toddler, I refused to let the then teenage Annie (pictured above with me) put me down and she had to carry me for most of the day. Believe it or not, it is one of the few memories I still have from my toddler days. But there were also oodles that I had made and shared with her and her side of the family growing up.
For the first couple of hours upon meeting on this occasion (close to 40 years since we last did) this and other memories were bandied about with a carefree and familiar ease I had not experienced in a long while. And many memories there were… we never really ran out of them. There was also a lot of catching up… but it still felt like only yesterday that we were smiling and laughing like we used to.
Yes, there was also a new dynamic at play. Sharon, Annie’s daughter, was also on the trip with her husband, Rupert, and daughter, Elizabeth. It was a pleasure meeting and getting to know them a little… and embraced as family. I knew I was in when the off and on mock and amusing battle between son and mother-in-law would occur. The teasing and feigned disapproval between Rupert and Annie never failed to set the rest of us into a fit of giggles. “Ooh, they’re bonding again” became the catch-phrase of the weekend.
Annie’s husband, Adrian is also one of my Dad’s favorite godson and someone I have long respected and have a deep affection for. This visit allowed the both of us to also reconnect in a joyfully profound way. At times he spoke to me with the pride of an older brother… something that I eluded to in my last post. Sure, we talked about many things but it was the occasional pats on the back and just being together that made me smile as wide as the man in the moon.
Of course, it was also about the food… it is for Malaysians of any stripe when we get together. And the sensuousness of sharing meals together over some really good food never ceased to be a priority.
I did want to show them some of the San Francisco I knew but the weather was not cooperating. Ultimately, it mattered not a wit… because just being together was all we really wanted.
After our last meal together, after the goodbye hugs were given and received, though it was raining, Adrien walked me to the corner to make sure I got into a cab safely. But I knew it was more than that. It was Adrian who first met me in the hotel lobby two days before. We mostly walked in silence avoiding the rain… nothing needed to be spoken… still glowing in our brief yet wonderful reunion.
As I got into the cab I watched as Adrian headed back to the hotel in the rain… and warmed all over in the knowledge that this touchstone of family will always be a part of who I am.