“How long have you been at this, Lecram?”
“Long enough to know better” is my standard reply.
It happens every time I embark on a creative project… every damn time. Especially if I’m creating from a personal place.
One could argue that everything I create comes from a personal place. That accumulated perception, knowledge, experience and the self (to this point and time) is funnelled through the sieve of craft to it’s eventual display for an audience.
It is the “unknown country.” But unlike the ruminations of the Prince of Denmark… one does return to face it… in a very public way. How is that for scary?
The source material (especially so in this case) is subjective… but the craft has to be executed objectively in order for effective execution. At least, one hopes for that result. But, one never really knows… until there is an audience present to take it in.
Of course, this depends on the nature of the project. Whatever I creatively undertake is colored by the personal. Especially because I have long lived by the rule that whatever I create has to comply with the test of being something I would pay good money to see.
But when the source material is this intimate… the fear meter ramps up to eleven. Partly because I hope (like hell) that this nakedness does not cloud and impair the telling of a good story. Ultimately, that is what it’s about.
So, it is risk. And I’m counting it today because… I’m diving head first into this abyss… and thankful that I still have the capacity (and insanity) to do that.
